Hello Grandma, This Is Deege

“Hello Grandma, this is Deege.”

These were the opening words of a phone call from my grandson. Now I already knew who was calling because I have his personal phone number programmed into my phone. It never ceases to amaze me the toys our children have in this age of technology. This young man’s dad would have never dreamed of having his own personal phone at the ripe old age of 12. Of course I am informed that this phone is not a toy, rather it is a very useful for thing, like for calling Grandma.

Deege’s dad was transferred to North Dakota a few months ago. This particular child does not do change very well, so this move has been a bit stressful for him. From my point of view, it’s a good thing he has his own personal phone.

Around Christmas time I received a phone call from this young man.

“Hello Grandma, this is Deege,” I heard as I answered the phone. “Can I come live with you and Grandpa?” Well those words about made my heart stop.

“Deege, why would you want to come and live with us?” I asked.

“May dad is being a pain in the …!” he lets me know. Well, having raised his dad, I am not to surprised. This particular child was a pain in my …, many times, as he was growing up. Nonetheless, I just had to respond with another question.

“What is your dad doing that is so painful you want to come live with us?” I asked.

“Well…you know!” he exclaims. Hmmm. I am a good 1200 miles away, but I know according to this child why his dad is such a pain. Now I am smiling. After all I warned this son while he was growing up, that he would have children who would act just like him, maybe be three times worse than him. Oh, the predictions of a mother!

This grandson, I am talking to, is the youngest son, of my oldest son, Rooster. So these words coming out of my grandson stirred up some memories, that I can think about and chuckle over now.

Rooster was a busy child even in the womb. As a baby his arms and legs were in constant movement. By the time he was crawling, nothing was safe. If he couldn’t reach something he found a chair, box or his walker to get what ever he was after. As he was growing up he was a very friendly child, filling our house with children he would invite over most often for a meal. By the age of 12 years old, mealtime was about the only time this child was around. I never did know if it was because I was a good cook or if the other moms didn’t cook. I remember some days when I would complain about all the kids being around. I also remember my grandmother’s words….

“Sars, you need to enjoy this time and know kids always know where to go when they get hungry.” Being a mom, however, I never let them get away with a free handout. I was raised if you wanted to eat, you needed to help out around the house. So, my thinking at the time was if I made these friends of my son’s, work a little they would find somewhere else to get a meal. My son had wonderful friends, whatever I asked them to do, they did. I can chuckle now but at the time I was actually frustrated my plan didn’t work. Now my son has sons of his own and tries to instill some of mom’s ideas in them.

“What does you dad have to say about you coming to live with grandma and grandpa?” I continue the conversation with Deege.

“I don’t know,” he responds, “you want to talk with him?” By now I know this child is serious.

“Sure, I’ll talk with your dad,” I comment, wondering what is going on that this child is wanting somewhere else to live.

“Hey, mom, what is going on out your way?” my son questions, as Deege hands him the phone.

“Not a lot going on here, but seems you have your hands full,” I say. “Why does your son think he wants to come live with us?”

“He is bored living here, he can’t get along with his brother and he doesn’t like the idea of his sisters coming up here,” my son informs me. My son and two boys moved to North Dakota, leaving his wife and two daughters, in Arizona while he got set up. The boys needed to get established in school as they were making the move to a new location.

“So why are you being a pain in his…?” I ask. Thinking this explanation isn’t so bad. “Is Deege having a hard time with all of the change going on?”

“Oh, you know he doesn’t do change well,” my son explains, “he is actually doing well in school though. I think he just misses grandma and grandpa. He has always been a grandma’s boy.”

“Deege, you know if you come to live with us,” I began, “you have to keep your room clean.”

“Yea, I know,” he responds. Ok, that was a bomb. Maybe something else will get his attention.

“You won’t have things out here like an X-box or whatever it is you use to occupy your time out here,” I continue.

“That’s ok Grandma,” he says, “I get tired of playing my games, anyway.” Well let me see if I can use something else to put this young man off the thought of coming to live with his grandparents.

“Well, you know we don’t have dirt bikes or anything like that to occupy your time.”

“That’s ok too,” he lets me know, “my dirt bike is still in Arizona broke down.”

“You will have to go to school and make good grades,” I try once more to convince him he is where he needs to be.”

“Yep, I will go to school,” he comes back at me, “I’m sure there are kids in that school that I can make friends with and I will keep up my grades.”

We talked a little more and decided if things didn’t get better for the two of them, it might be a good thing for Deege to come stay with grandma and grandpa.

I guess the mother thing never goes away though, I had to give this young grandson an itemized list of what we would expect if he came to live with us. My thinking on presenting him with this list was it would discourage him from coming to live with us. Haha

While the idea of my grandson coming to live with me is appealing, I still believe he needs to stay with his dad. I’m reminded of how each one of my kids at one point or another informed me they wanted to live somewhere else.

At the ripe old age of three, Rooster packed his little back pack and headed across the field to catch the bus to go live with his grandparents in Kansas. The problem with this escapade was the bus he intended to catch a ride on was transportation for the miners to get back and forth to work.

I laughed then and still laugh when told about the look on his face when the bus driver let him into the bus and he came face to face with his dad. I guess the apple really doesn’t fall to far from the tree.